Few California couples’ marriages are characterized by smooth sailing all the time. It is more typical for there to be ups and downs, periods of difficulty and times when two spouses seem to be merely going through the motions of living a life together. While it’s true that certain marriages are beyond repair or were, perhaps, a mistake from the beginning, others fall apart because one or both of the partners are missing warning signs of problems. It may be possible for couples to get back on the right course if they are aware of the signs.
Ultimately, the majority of marriages that work well for both partners involve sharing and spending time together. Yes, life gets busy, especially if kids are involved, but togetherness is important for the fabric of a relationship to stay strong. Family counselors suggest if one or both individuals look for excuses to not come home, no matter how busy work becomes, that’s a danger sign. Companionship; eating dinner together; and yes, sex, all were important at one time and need to be again.
Even when the evolution of the relationship or other circumstances dictates more independent lives, basic respect for each other must be a constant. If one spouse constantly criticizes, mocks or makes fun of his or her partner, something is dramatically wrong. Similarly, if one person regularly complains about his or her spouse to friends and family, this can be a sign of deep, underlying issues. Again, it is normal for couples to act differently after years together, but basic, fundamental pillars of a strong marriage are companionship and respect.
If, despite all efforts to the contrary, the right path is to seek a divorce, there are important decisions to be made. A family law attorney can explain the rights and responsibilities of both parties when moving forward toward separate lives.